Have you ever wondered, why your child would not tell you the truth for certain situations?
Have you ever questioned yourself?
When your child does something you deemed as "wrong" and they tell you the truth forthcoming, what did you do?
Did you say it's alright?
Did you thank them for letting you know instead of lying to you?
OR...
Did you chastise them for what they did?
Did you condemn them for their actions?
"Scolding is punishment"
If your child tells you the truth and what they get in return is a "punishment" would they tell you the truth ever again?
In your shoes , as parents, you know that in certain situations you cannot tell the truth. Be it to your family or at work. Simply because you know the response you get will be negative for you.
Same goes for your child. Teenagers are most certainly capable of thinking as adults. If telling the truth only gets them a scolding/nagging, why would they tell the truth? They would rather lie as it is the easy way out.
*easy way out*
Parents, why not try this.
When your child has come forthright about something, thank them. Thank them for informing you, as an act of responsible. At the same time, be really thankful because you APPRECIATE the fact that they are honest with you. Yes, maybe your child has done something wrong/bad. But at least you know what they have been up to and you can intervene in a tactful way.
Nobody likes to be proved wrong, nobody. Letting your child do whatever they want doesn't mean you have lost as a parent.
You can definitely chastise them for bad behaviour, but not when they are telling you something that is important to them, the truth.
*Honestly*
Honestly parents, would you rather know what your children are doing or would you rather to be kept in the dark?
I personally think that being kept in the loop is better than being 10 miles away from it.
To me, cool parents treat their kids like friends. You don't condemn your friends for doing anything right? You maybe concern but you would actually RESPECT them.
RESPECT their choices in life
RESPECT their decision for life
RESPECT the honesty you're given.
Treat your child like a friend by respecting the choices they have made.
Treat your child like a friend by respecting the choices they have made.
Parents, sometimes being in the wrong and admitting it can be a good example for your children. They will learn that being in the wrong and admitting is not disgraceful. There is a Chinese Saying "不耻下问". Which actually means to not be embarrassed and ask from the people below you.
In context, parents can admit their mistakes and even learn from their children.
*Moving On!*
Now for the teens.
As a teenager, I'm curious about things at that I often question myself.
Are the things I'm doing now what I want?
Am I who I want to be?
Can I be who I want to be?
As for that I have figured out some of the questions I have.
I want to be a food artist. A cookie artist. Am I doing the things I want? NO. I am doing psychology. No doubt that it is interesting and sets me thinking, but I'm not happy doing what I'm doing. I am the happiest when I create nice and good looking cookies and people cheer up upon eating my cookies.
In my sec school days, what I'm most fond of is the F&N class I took during sec 3 and 4. Of course my friends are part of my fond memories. That is simply because after I bake in F&N class, I would let my friends eat the food I made. They would have nothing but compliments for my skills and the smile on their faces is PRICELESS.
*Something like this*
I don't think I can be who I want to be. Why? Because when I do something I want to do, and I tell people, they condemn me for it. Especially my mother. I can't even get support from my own mother to be myself, who am I to demand that off my friends?
Who I am now is actually what people want me to be. I am a people pleaser. I will change myself to let people around be happy with me and like me.
But is that who I am? NO.
I can't be me and how can I be happy?
To me, it doesn't matter if I'm happy or not. But my happiness, depends on the people around me.
Which is you.
Cheery Cheers,
你们的，小小大人物,
Roseann Zerlinda
Twitter: roseyroseann
Instagram: roseyroseann
