I need to stop...

Hey all, the following is just one of my emo posts, you can skip it if you want to. Thanks for visiting my blog anyway :)

Here goes.


I know it was wrong of me, it has always been wrong of me to do ANYTHING.

But then, why the pressure you give me? Why is everybody so proud of but not you, it was never you. You were never proud of me. I'm proud of myself, but you were never proud of me.

I can never have a social circle like normal teenagers my age. Going out till late, have sleep overs and per say, going overseas (not m'sia) with my friends. Why do you have to deprive me of that, that little normal part of being a teenager. When I was a child, you deprived me of my childhood, no fancy cake from the neighbourhood bakery, no visiting playground downstairs my blk, no staying over at my grandma's house. Just because you have a deprive childhood with a single parent, doesn't mean you can deprive me of mine.

I do know that the world is a dangerous place, but what is more dangerous to me than myself? I appreciate that you always try to protect me and you did protect me. Besides your protection, I have the Divine protection of the LORD, OUR GOD. God did show his goodness and the way of his protection to me. Just trust God will you?

You are that very one person who lets me down and disappoints me all the time. Yet, I am always hopeful towards you. Hoping that one day, you will ever keep to your promises. Hoping that one day, you wouldn't leave me behind just because I was 5 mins late. Hoping that whenever I cry in front of you, you would hug me tight and say nothing instead of scolding me and asking me to grow up.


I was very upset that night, not because you gave me a "punishment" but more like I felt like I was a caged bird. I felt that to give me rules like that, you might as well, just get me a cage and free me to go school and when I reach home, cage me up. I think at least, I will have my own sanctuary and my own space.

*This is not me!*

Those who know about it, thank you for being a friend and keep my secret. There are enough judgmental people in my life, I don't need those who don't know me to judge me as well. I know it is wrong and I do love myself, but I've really gotta stop.

This is what I believe.

Thank you for those people, close friends that act as my listening ear, thank you my bffe for always being there.

I will live on, live strong.


Cheery Cheers,
你们的，小小大人物，
Roseann Zerlinda

Twitter: roseyroseann
Instagram: roseyroseann